Moving On
by sweetishfish
Summary: Bella's dead, and Edward and Jacob are forced to cope. Strangely enough, the two are able to take comfort in... eachother? Rated T simply for language and theme
1. Chapter 1

Icy cold black water, penetrating impenetrable skin. Suffocating darkness. Jacob could feel his mind shutting down, as he clawed above him for air. It was futile. As Jacob sank down further and further into the blackness, he wondered; _Is this what it's like to be helpless?_

Jacob woke from his dream, covered in sweat, and, oddly enough, shivering. He wasn't cold; he was never cold. It was just the memory of the icy water closing in on him. As the fogginess of the dream faded, realization hit: "Bella!" Jacob moaned, lurching to his feet.

"Do you always make some much noise?" A velvety voice asked, tonelessly. Jacob jumped and spun around to see Edward gracefully perched in his window. His glowing eyes were flaming gold.

"What are you doing here?!" Jacob had never been so furious. He clenched his fists, a hot, sick rage swelling inside of him. Suddenly, he burst. Quite literally.

He was on all fours, snarling like he had never before. He felt power course through his muscles, and sprang from padded paws towards the vampire. Edward stepped away, a graceful blur of motion too fast to follow.

"This is foolish. I'm breaking all the agreements we made with the Quilete clan by being here, just for you to leap at me? You know you can't kill me, not on your own. I didn't come here to fight."

Jacob didn't want to listen to reason. Words meant nothing, especially the slippery words of a bloodsucker. Growling, fur on end, he made to leap at Edward again.

"I came to talk about Bella."

Jacob stopped in his tracks.

"You killed Bella." It was a statement, not an accusation. Maybe that's what made it unbearable.

Jacob suddenly straightened up, man once again. "No," he whispered softly, "no."

Edward's eyes were not the brilliant gold anymore. They were dark orange, burning red, deep ruby. Jacob watched the change in the beautiful face. It was cold, perfect lips quivering slightly from barely suppressed rage. "You killed her. Do you think I will ever forgive you? Do you think you will just move on with your life? Do you know what you've done?!" Edward's voice had barely risen during his entire speech, but more fury resonated in every syllable.

"St-stop." Jacob choked out. "Do you think I've forgiven myself? Do you think I _want_ to move on with life? Do you think I care anymore?! Screw you, you bloodsucker! Why would I seek your forgiveness? You mean nothing! Why would I care if you want to kill me?! You always have! And at this point, I'm considering letting you!" Jacob was too miserable to continue.

Edward stilled, calming, then turned and fled, suddenly and silently, out the window.

Trees passed in flashes of green, but Edward couldn't run fast enough to outrace his thoughts. Strangely, the first thought was _That was low, to rub it in his face like that. It's not his fault, and you know it._ But if Jacob was the scapegoat that meant it wasn't _his_ fault. Edward wondered what eternity without your loved one was like. He was sure it wasn't worth living for.

Jacob cursed himself, cursed Edward, even cursed Bella for everything. He cursed himself because he knew it was his fault. He had been the idiot who had told Bella about cliff-diving. And he should have known Bella was stupid enough to try anything. She was so impulsive, and it wasn't too far-fetched to imagine she would try it all on her own.

As far as Edward, he was just who Jacob wanted to blame. After all, how many times had that bloodsucker put her life in danger?

And Bella…? _Why, Bella? Why would you do it? _It wasn't like Bella to be suicidal. Clumsy, yes. Impulsive, definitely. Jacob couldn't forgive her for dying. And leaving him behind.

Jacob returned, depressed, to his room. Billy let him be. So did the rest of the gang; they knew how he felt. Jacob didn't feeling like eating or talking right now, and surprisingly enough, the werewolves didn't even question him about his encounter with Edward. Jacob had forgotten that they had shared his thoughts when he had transformed into a wolf. He was sure they were going to plan an attack on the vampire clan; after all, they had violated the treaty the two fantastical clans had made long ago. Jacob found he didn't care.

Edward felt hollow and miserable. Too numb to feel much else. But he was sure of one thing: he didn't want to continue living. And he knew one person only to happy to kill him. Capable of killing him, too. With a little help. He was sure it wouldn't take too much persuasion.

Jacob turned over in his bed. It was no use; he would never be able to sleep. He glanced at his clock. Well, no surprise there. It was only 7:30. Jacob was used to going to bed late even as a regular high school kid. Now that he was a werewolf as well, he had been getting up at all hours of the day to patrol the borders of their territory. Jacob turned over once again, then stopped suddenly. Edward was slipping silently down from his window.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi, author here. If you don't like shonen-ai (EdwardxJacob) stop reading. This will probably be my only twilight fan fiction because, quite honestly, I really don't think the twilight series is all that extraordinary. I did read the entire series, and I think Edward and Jacob should have more moments. Anyway, this is dedicated to a friend who sort of gave me this idea; we both agreed EdwardxJacob would be kinda hot. So enjoy chapter 2!

Edward watched as Jacob stared, then slowly sat up in bed. His eyes were dull, his face resigned.

"Are you here to kill me?" Jacob asked bluntly. "Please get on with it." Edward felt a new emotion rise in him. Surprise.

"Actually, werewolf, I had the same request for you." Edward noticed the werewolf's emotionless eyes and unusual pallor to his normally ruddy skin. He felt a twinge of pity as he took in the shadows beneath his eyes, and the sharp angles of his face. He was losing weight as well as sleep.

"What?" Jacob asked him. "Wait; you want me to kill _you?_" Jacob would have been only too happy to a few hours earlier, but suddenly he no longer desired it.

Edward sighed, and held his head in his hands. If Jacob hadn't suspected it was impossible, he would have said the vampire had a headache.

Suddenly the vampire looked up, gold eyes piercing Jacob's own. "I want you to kill me," he said quietly and clearly, "and maybe you can find some satisfaction. I killed Bella. Avenge her."

Jacob waited for his fur to rise at that one, but strangely, it didn't. Jacob just couldn't kill the goddamn bloodsucker. "Just leave," he muttered, "It isn't your fault; I don't blame you." Jacob turned away. "I'll deal on my own."

Edward watched the Jacob turn away, revealing a bare tanned and muscled back. He watched the werewolf prepare for bed. Well, that plan had backfired. Edward had meant to rile up the emotional boy, and simply allow himself to be ripped apart. Instead, he was turning away, looking more careworn than Edward had ever seen him. Edward felt a queer twist inside him; unsure, he watched the werewolf.

Jacob turned to face Edward. "What?" he asked a little defensively, holding a shirt somewhat protectively in front of his bare chest. Edward held in a little smile. It wasn't as if he hadn't seen him shirtless before- Jacob was forever bursting out of his clothes when he transformed. "Why are you watching me? Get the hell outta my bedroom before I do kill you. Stupid leech." he muttered.

Edward slipped softly out the window, mood a little lighter. He wasn't so desperate to die anymore.

Jacob watched him go, a little… disappointed? No, not that. It was just, when Edward was around, Jacob felt an adrenaline rush. When he left, it went whooshing out of him, allowing feelings of emptiness to consume him again.


End file.
